a full heart

I wish I could turn back the hands of time.  

I'd do it.  In a heartbeat.   

I'd rewind to the night before I dropped the kiddos off at day care for the very first time.  October 2006.  I distinctly remember crying as they were snug in bed and I was painting their names on their blankets.  Red for the K-boy.  Green for the K-girl.   I used Memory Makers big foam letters [still love them!] to make their blankets special.  Creative play to soothe my sad momma heart.  I would hug both of them tighter and tighter and remind them not to skip through childhood too quickly. 

I'd listen to my dad as he spoke about auto mechanics and how to fix this or that on a car.  I just had no interest then, but still find myself wanting to ask him what to do about that.  I did learn a few country fixes from him and always knew he'd lovingly repair whatever was broken.

I'd take my time, walking through the lake park with Lonnie, taking in every single moment wrapped up in his heart.  Holding hands.  Sharing dreams.  Step by step, side by side, heart in heart.

I'd sit back on the couch and watch as the kiddos danced to the Wiggles or High Five.  And we'd sing "... driving in the big red car ... wake up, Jeff!" or excitingly say "secret fort club handshake" as we begged to enter the makeshift living room fort of bedsheets. 

I'd hold my mom's hand one more time, looking at the wrinkles and the lines of a life well-loved and well-lived.  The golden wedding band and the green jade rings are remembered most.  She always wore gold.  Or gaudy handmade jewelry we'd made through the years of crafting experiences and fun. And, I'd pick a deep, dark pearly purple iris from her yard. 

I'd look at all the handsful of Power Ranger colored toys the K-boy carried around with him.  Markers, blocks, cars, fish tank pebbles, Little People.  Always --- red, blue, green, yellow and pink.

I'd let K-girl prance around on the dining room table [a makeshift runway stage] in the many silly outfits she'd put together.  Her fashion imagination was, and still is, over the top artsy and cool and frilly and glitzy and colorful. 

I'd lay in the hospital bed, awaiting the birth of the kiddos, remembering how much of a blessing they both have been and still are to this day.   The utter joy and peaceful love overwhelms me as I remember seeing their sweet faces after birth.  Beautiful.

I'd erase the traumatic horror from the K-girl's memory of the night she found me lying on the ground after I had blacked out. Scared.  Both of us.  But I'd still be so very thankful that her shriek woke me up, though I still couldn't see. 

I'd go back to every single moment --- so many moments! --- when I thought about how great life was and how blessed I am.  I'd smile from my heart and know that I truly have been blessed in so many ways. 

Since there is no way to turn back time, I march forward with a vivid memory of such events and stories and more. 

And a full heart. 

soakin' up the sun.

I am not looking forward to the heat of the summer.

If you've ever lived or visited Texas during the summer months, which really is about May through October or longer, you know it can get hot. Hot. Makes me sweat just thinking about the near-90 temps we'll have at the end of the day.

But, the beach always makes things better.

This long-arm self portrait was taken on a visit to Rockport Beach a year or two ago. I can remember the warmth of the sun, the grit of the sand and calmness of the gulf water. I'm missing the sand and salty water and the relaxing moments.

I need a trip to the beach soon to rejuvinate.

And cool off.

[ ABOUT THE LAYOUT ] I rummaged through my Doodlebug Design paper scraps for a rainbow of colors. Using a 1" Fiskars square punch, I went to work punching oodles of squares, then cutting them in half diagonally. I lined them all up to mimick a chevron pattern, in my own hodge podge kind of style.

the end.

It seems so cliche to say that time has flown, but it sure has gone by in a heartbeat.  The years are passing in an hurry and I am not ready for that. 

The K-boy graduated from kindergarten in 2008. 

He is about to give a goodbye kiss to elementary school.  Fifth grade is winding down with lots of projects and field trips.  

Next year we'll be facing sixth grade.  Sixth.  

Sigh. 

Time flies.

But, we'll be thankful for summer break. 

my fave.

By far, this is my favorite photo of the K-kiddos.  It happened on a whim three years ago while walking the campus of Baylor University.  

My favorite photo of my favorite little people.

And, I was doing my favorite job --- being mom.  

a blast from the past

This week, while looking for other things on a CD, I found a list I made about the kiddos.  It was dated March 7, 2005.   Eight years ago.  

The K-boy just turned 11 a week ago.  

I enjoyed looking at the list of things they were enjoying and doing and how life was back then.  So many things are still the same and some I had forgotten about.  


K-boyalmost 3 years old

• hates to have socks on and will pull them off of his and Keona's feet
• loves his sandals --- has even worn them all winter long with socks
• likes to play the guitar like Murray of the Wiggles
• loves to watch Barney and the Wiggles videos
• loves the new Hi-5 DVD and learned the secret fort club handshake in one night
• can do all the moves to the songs on the Hi-5 video
• has discovered shadows
• is too cute when he says "oh no, what to do?"
• called his cousin's name out while gathering firewood for the campfire --- "chance"
• can use the pedals on his tricycle
• can scream louder than a freight train
• loves to "bake" and help mommy in the kitchen, even if only eating the batter and frosting
• takes off his shirt about mid-evening and insists on sleeping shirtless
• puts socks on his hands to make a puppet
• can eat three eggs topped with cheese for any [and every] meal
• is expanding his vocabulary and talking in some sentences
• loves taking a bath
• loves watching out the window or door for the next train coming --- still
• loves to play outside
• loves to crawl into bed with his parents in the middle of the night

K-girl almost 11 months old

• loves to dig in the trash can
• loves to eat the food Kai drops off his plate and onto the floor
• eats baby snacks from the tray of her walker, much like a dog eats his food from a bowl
• has a radiant smile
• got her first black eye on March 2 while climbing on the ottoman
• runs quickly when she hears the dishwasher open and "helps" with the silverware
• plays with socks
• loves to eat off of mommy's plate
• likes cheese puffs
• loves to play peek-a-boo and dance
• learned to walk at nine months old
• digs in the dirt of TutuBabe's plants ---- fertilizer/dirt, medicine/aloe vera, salad/ivy
• loves taking a bath in the big tub
• hates being in the carseat, thus making her a horrible traveler
• can pry lids off of sippy cups
• chews boxes like a mouse --- Uncle Cliff calls her 'ratso'
• loves to cuddle, mostly when she wants to do so
• loves to be comforted by her mom when she's hurt
• says "hi" and can wave bye-bye

I will be working on a new list of their likes, dislikes and just things I notice about them each day.   It will be fun to look back on like this list.  

Such good memories.

This little space of mine has been consumed by lovely scrapbooking lately, but today it will be all about the words. And my heart.

Inspired by one lovely lady.

And one cute photo [circa 2004].   This appeared in my inbox this week from the hubs.  This one tugs at my heart alot.  Alot.  I cannot even fathom how quickly my children have grown and how quickly the time has passed.  I miss those days of toddlerhood.  So many great memories. 

blog your heart

♥ The kiddos have joined gymnastics and karate the past month. I have enjoyed watching from the sidelines as they stretch, learn and grow.

♥  An incident happened yesterday on the day care van that resulted in one cute K-girl's feelings being hurt and her over-protective big brother taking up for her. I agree he shouldn't have smacked the girl bothering his sister, but she shouldn't have been picking on her either. Why can't kiddos just say nice things?

♥  The hubs and I are in dire need of a date. And a nap.

♥  I listen to stories about my husband's day at school and it makes my stomach turn and my heart cringe. School is nothing like we enjoyed as kids. The safety net is gone. Sad.

♥  I am learning to knit. While it can be very frustrating, seeing the cumbersome process come together into something feasible has been neat. The company even better.

♥  My heart aches many days that my best friend and I live so far apart. I wish those miles were fewer, but I know there isn't any distance in our hearts.

♥  I enjoy my time as the Den Leader for my son's Cub Scout den, but this whole ordeal with allowing gays into the organization is a bit out of hand. 

♥  Most days, I wish I could homeschool my children.   In my heart, I know it is best for our family. Getting there, or even thinking about how to get to that point, is scary.  

♥  I am happiest if I can create something each day. Just ask my family. My heart needs it. I am enjoying designing for scrapbook companies. So much fun to push the creative limits with some products. I am fortunate for that the friendships I've made on the teams.

♥  Our house may be a chaotic mess when we step into it this afternoon, but it is home. The son has drawing papers strung all over the house and his Beyblades are scattered about. The daughter has a jump rope out, the exercise ball is not in its place and she has blankets all over the place from practice gymnastics. Laundry is piled up. Things untidy. But, a roof over our heads and a shelter full of love.

♥  I am trying to add some exercise into my daily schedule. It is hard because after dinner, I just want to sit and create. The exercise ball will help, I hope. Though I must admit that I busted my knee the first day using that ball. I got to giggling and rolled off, whacking my knee on the metal strip between our carpet and ceramic tile. Yowza.

♥  I haven't decorated for Valentine's Day nor have I purchased supplies needed for the kids' cards to exchange. I envision heart garlands about our holiday tree and house. Arrows. Hearts. Lots of hearts.

The bestest Christmas gift this year happened last night.

The K-girl called us all into the living room and asked us to sit or kneel around the Christmas tree.  As we did, she began a prayer, wishing those that didn't have anything could get something and those without family would have someone to spend the holidays with.  And, then the K-boy joined in wishing everyone a good Christmas. 

Absolutely beautiful.  

Next time, though, I shall transcribe the conversation as soon as it is over so I don't forget their exact words.  The spoke them so very innocently and so very sweetly.  

Wishing you all a merry Christmas!  May you be blessed with family time, loved ones, sweet memories and lots of love. 

Peace, love and joy.

Geez, where has the month of November gone?   The days are slippin' by me quickly ... but, today I am gonna take in this little K-boy that has stolen my heart, all while he rests and recuperates from a nasty sinus infection.

We've spent a lot of November days resting and recuperating.

I've been sick with a stomach bug.  The K-girl was spent Friday at urgent care for strep, both kids were laid up on Sunday with fevers and resting on Monday.  A relapse for the son and he now has a sinus infection.   Yep, lots of sick days this month.

Thank goodness for vacation time and darn good health insurance.   Yes, both a blessing indeed.

• Listening to the son get comfortable in our bed for some rest.  "A boy needs his rest," he reminded me again today.  
• Planning a holiday trip to meet my nephew and play in the snow.  But, before then, I plan to go to the beach and sink my feet into some sand and the gulf waters.  
• Wishing the kiddos would mend, heal and be back to their normal little beings without sniffles and medications and hacking coughs. 
• Working on my Project Life album.   I have missed some weeks and still have some empty card holders for days I can't recall, but it is getting to be current.  I vow to complete it, and continue it next year, because the kiddos love looking through it and recalling different activities.  Totally worth it.
• Loving the cooler weather.  My fingers may be popsicles in the morning, my feet may resemble ice cubes at the end of the day, but my heart is warm always with the cool, refreshing air. 
• Giggling as I recall the situation this morning.  The K-girl wanted to wear a ruffly dress, but I demanded she put leggings on under it because it is so cold.  She did not want to and stated, "you're treating me like a child!"  Yep.  At eight years old.  I am in so much trouble. 
• Needing to fold laundry. Always.
• Creating a mess at my craft desk [that is an always, too].  The pile is filled with red, green and white and sprinkled with glitter and snowmen.  Fun.
• Making a mental list of things I want to make or give for Christmas.  Better late than never.
• Enjoying the slower pace at home today.   And some RutaMaya coffee.

The first half of the month has been swept away and I plan to enjoy the whirlwind second half that is left.  Lots of activities ahead, but I plan to take in all the little things and enjoy the moment. 

Boo from the Doodlebug crew!

... and from our crew!

The kiddos are busy taking in the last of summertime.  

bring back the spunk

My little K-girl has not been her usually sassy and spunky self these past few days.  She has been sick with stomach virus-like symptoms.  But after a few days of trying to use my magical supermom [and superdad] powers, it was time to let a professional take over.   

And last night we did.  We spent a few moments in urgent care and came out with a diagnosis of urinary tract infection.   Yikes!

So, she's resting up with some antibiotics and anti-nausea meds, kicking back with her daddy and anxiously awaiting playtime with her big brother.  

I may complain from time to time about her being piss and vinegar spunky, but I sure miss her personality when she's down and out.

 It breaks this momma's hear to have a sick kiddo.  My sweet little love will be back at it soon and I can't wait.

the fourth

Happy anniversary to my love!   Eleven years ago we wed in a quaint Las Vegas chapel and this awesome adventure of married life began.  I couldn't have a better partner in marriage, parenting and love.   

And, happy 4th of July!  

the goat

 The hubby has always had a moustache and goatee since we've dated. I think there might have been a time or two that he trimmed it shorter than his norm. The K-girl, a bit younger, would always pull on his chin whiskers and say, "I'm gonna get your goat."

The hubs has been debating on shaving it or not.

Well, this morning, he bit the bullet.  Pulled out the shaver and put it in overdrive. And just like that, it was gone. Half hour is all it took to wipe his face of a few years and those salt and pepper whiskers.

He broke the news to me via email, appropriately titled "dont' freak out."

Instantly, I thought something happened to the kiddos or that there might be some creepy crawly in our house or that the kiddos had already torn down the house in their cabin-fever summer fun. Instead, it contained a photo of his his newly shaven chin.

I like it. For now.  And probably only because I know it will be back sooner than later. 

The kiddos, on the other hand, woke up iwth a different reaction.

The K-boy said, "I think Mom is going to be horrified." And the K-girl told her dad, "That's weird, I mean, that's freaky weird. Does Mom know about it?"

When they find out I knew all along that this might happen, they will be weirdly horrified.

the beach

I have always loved the beach.

The sand, the sounds, the sun, the carefree atmosphere. Love. We didn't visit the beach much as a kiddo, but spent many days at the lake. We celebrated our birthday there, Father's Day and just everyday. Such a gathering of families and love.

The hubs spent many of his young adult years at the beach, hanging out with friends and enjoying the beauty of our local lakes.

I remember way back when, on my first trip to visit the hubs in the big city, we took a detour to Galveston. There, along the seawall, was a huge gathering of surfers. It was so very awesome to see them en masse, all for the love of the sport and the beach.

Our love for the beach, together, started there. And continues. With us and our kiddos. I think we could all spend days and days on the beach -- just relaxing, hunting for seashells and treasures, kicking up waves and playing in the sand.

We must make time this summer to visit the beach again. To relax and soak up the moments together.

Life is always better at the beach.  

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ABOUT THE LAYOUT : I wanted a beachy feel to this layout, so I opted for a white background with turquoise watercolor effects. I cut apart the circle/cupcake stamp from the Party Time set and stamped just the circle onto the background cardstock. I inked it with Versamark and then used clear embossing powder to set it. I used a turquoise mist with a paintbrush to circle over the stamped image and then again on a scalloped border. I wanted them soft and reminiscent of the ocean waves.

The polka dot paper was a bit too stark for this layout, so I toned it down with a wash of white acrylic paint. I love how the white dots of glitter now look like sand.

Other stamped items in this layout include -- that darling polka dot sun that made me giddy at first glance, the confetti and triangles on the twine banner, the title, the black and white labels and the clouds.

Did you see the clouds? They are on the "washi" tape behind the sun and at the bottom of the layout. I used white paper medical tape, stamped the clouds in turquoise/swimming pool ink and then attached to the layout. I made a few varieties of washi tape and will share those this week, too.

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SUPPLIES : Stamps [simply sweet alphabet, home sweet home, borders, journal shapes, party time, sweet cakes, small alphabets], rhinestones, pearls, boutique brads-seashell and starfish and doodle twine.

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GIVEAWAY : Go visit the Doodlebug blog for your chance to win some Doodlebug goodies!

hello

Hello summertime.

Summer has been happening around our neck o' the woods, but most of it has been laid back with indoor retreats.

• hello cuteness.  The K-girl has built an animal clubhouse in the living room. It is the cutest thing built of cardboard boxes, scrapbook paper, model magic air dry clay and alot of imagination.
• hello man.  The K-boy can be found in his ninja costume, sporting a sword made from a water shooter toy. Or lazing in bed. He said to his dad today, "a man needs his sleep." I almost laughed out loud while reading the email.
• hello summer fun. We spent a few hours last week at a local water park. It was fun to see the kids playing together instead of bickering from being couped up in the house. It was nice to see them enjoying the sunshine as they played alongside one another in the pool. The coolness of the lazy river and body slide far outweighs the tube slide and its lingering dizzy effects on this momma.
• hello handsome hubs. The hubs got a new grill for being the world's best daddy [and just because] and we have been enjoying the delicious meals prepared there. He is a trooper and even slaves over the grill in the 100+ temps.
• hello bessed life. A friend posted on facebook the other day that if, paraphrasing, "If all my friends and I put our troubles in one pile, I'd take back my own." So very true. I, we, have been very blessed in our lives and have minor life issues compared to others. Thankfully blessed.
• hello fort chaos. The kiddos have built a fort in the living room, dismantling each couch and loveseat and stretching every sheet in the house. After that was torn down, then came the barbie doll fort. Cute.
• hello birthday. My twin sister and I celebrated our 41st birthday separated by 800 miles, but together ala facebook and in heart. She is six minutes younger and I am sure to rub it in that she was/is the tagalong, all while she teases that I am so much older than she. Growing up we always celebrated our birthday in grand fashion --- with my cousin who shared the same special day, at the lake with our families and joint parties for the three birthday kids and their dads for Father's Day.
• hello love. I have been busy at my craft desk, staying cool inside as the sun shines through the windows nearby. I have scrapbooked, painted and sewn a variety of projects [including the one above].  This week is stamp week over at the Doodlebug blog --- featuring the cute Doodlebug stamps from Hampton Art.
• hello scouting. My sweet friend hosted a gathering for our Cub Scout den family and it was delightful. The boys, and their siblings and parents, celebrated a year of achievements and friendships. We swam, roasted marshmallows and giggled the night away as watching the sunset on their beautiful property.
• hello sweet friend.   My bestest friend called on Sunday and it was such a joy to talk with her.  We have only met once in real life [crazy, huh?], at a trade show, but we know each other so well.  She didn't even giggle, not too much, as I set off the smoke detector as I was multitasking that afternoon.   Sigh.   I adore her and cherish our friendship.
• hello taco night.   My older sister hosts a family dinner gathering, lovingly known as taco night [although tacos are not the main dish], each Monday.  We can replace our Monday commitment to taco night during the summertime while our weekly Cub Scout meeting is on break.  So much fun to see my sister, family and friends.  Watching her grandkids [my great-nephew and nieces] grow up so quickly along with our own kiddos is beautiful.  Bittersweet at how fast the time seems to be passing. 

We have some ideas on the horizon to make summer something fun for the kiddos, but are mostly just enjoying our summer days holed up in a cool house together as the world around us withers in the good ole fashion Texas summer heat.

forty one

6:29 am.
And then 6:35 am.
Six minutes.

Two sweet baby girls.

Forty one years ago.  

Happy, happy birthday to my twin sister!

dad's day

 

Happy Father's Day

to my hubs who is an awesome dad to our children

to my dad whom I wish were still here to celebrate 

a trip down memory lane

The hubs worked on the K-boy's computer yesterday.  Though he was unsuccessful in the fix, he dug up some old photos that were saved on disc.  While I looked through the handful of photos he sent, my heart was taken back to that moment in time.

The above photo was taken on a hot summer day about five years ago.   Five years.  That is a lot of days of change and growth from that photo to today and my kiddos have done just that.  But, I'd like to take a trip down memory lane, staring at and studying this photo of them.  

• The K-boy still loves red and plaid shirts.   When I was telling him of this photo and the red crocs he wore back then, he said he remembered them and wanted another pair.  
• That pursed up look of the K-girl is one I miss.  She puckers her lips now, but it is often followed by some foot-stomping off to her bedroom. 
• The son was wearing a wooden bead watchband that had a frog face on it.  He wore that thing out and still has it stashed away in his toy box.   And, to this day, he still loves wearing "bracelets" and watches.   
• K-girl had the cuuuuuuuuuuuutest pigtails.  She is beyond them at this point, but loves to put her hair up in a ponytail and messy bun.   
• These kiddos sit side-by-side still, in the car and on the couch.  I hope they are this close for many, many years -- though it does involve some bickering as of late.
• While we enjoyed the parade, these kiddos also enjoyed day dreaming and lots of strawberries.  The rest of us just enjoyed the summer heat.  Ha.

I intend to print this photo out and scrapbook it once again, reflecting on that moment in time.   I want to get lost in the memory that this photos brought back.  

he & she

I love these two cute K-kiddos to the moon and back, every single moment of every single day.

But geez! This sibling rivalry, bickering, fighting, whatever you wanna call it between him and her is just enough to send their momma through the roof and to that very same moon.

They look sweet enough, but beyond their beautiful skin is some major dosage of sass.

He and she.  They are so much alike, yet they are so different.

• He loves his sister and tries to direct her in the right way. She does not listen to her brother because she wants her way.
• She wants him to play a game with her right now. He doesn't want to play, but would rather relax.
• He loses his temper quickly, especially when his sister whines. She whines alot just to get at her brother.
• She wants use the computer, but he's been relaxing at it for awhile. He screams "noooooooooooo!" because she is screaming "yeeeeeeeeeeees!"
• He likes to joke around and play practical jokes. She does, too, but wants the jokes to go her way.
• She likes to be loud, very loud. He likes to have peace and quiet.
• He wants to play in his own world of pretend karate-choppin' kickin' swirlin' around. She wants to stop his world from spinnin' so she can play, too.
• She wants to hug on her brother. He does not want anything to do with that lovey dovey stuff.

I, their dear mother, wish for ear plugs while I call them front and center to reconcile their differences. To hush the bickering. To referee.

Then, I make them face each other, nose to nose ---- they laugh together and hug one another.

And just a few moments later, it starts again.

I know, though, that one day they will grow very grateful for one another and for the lovely childhood they're sharing. Even though it is full of this thing called sibling rivalry at the moment, it is still very full of a deep bond between those two.

So alike, so different.

He and she -- so full of love.

with love

Have you seen the cute cards and gift ideas on the Doodlebug blog today?   There are some super cute cards and gift ideas from the design team members in celebration of moms.

For this pocket, I folded a Doodlebug create-a-card base inside out and turned it upside down. Add on paper ribbon and stamped label, then stitch on both sides.   I think that description is a pretty good representation of a momma's life.  Our kiddos run us ragged from here to there, back and forth, to and fro, then they wrap their arms around us and stitch our hearts with their love. 

The flower pokes were simple --- stickers on a skewer.  That sticky backs of the stickers were covered with patterned paper and then trimmed.  My momma doesn't get out of the house much these days, so I plan to bring in some sunshine with this little gift.   A plant + these flower skewers will be the perfect way to brighten her day.  

I am so, so very blessed to have two cute K-kiddos with me each and every day.   They are so full of love and spunk and personality.   And they fill my heart with oodles of joy.   I love them to pieces!